Iowa Heritage Digital Collections
State Library of Iowa

1921 Yearbook

1921 Yearbook


1921 Yearbook


Established Soon
Published annually every Thursday by
The Psycho Publishing Company
Bunko Department
Bunko-in-Chiefs - - Britt & Bouq
Assistant Bunkers - - Britt & Bouq
Associate Bunkers
Society - - - Iona What
Sports - - - Sooner Not
Business - - - - Isaiah Lot
that the nights are dark, but what doth
the mosquito care? Has he not proven
to be a good feeler?
From my text I think you will all
agree with me that the mosquito is a
most wonderful and useful being. Is
He Not? Yes, He Is Not!
Daily . . . . . . . . . . Free
Weekly . . . . . . . . Nothing
Advertising Rates
Fifty cents per square mile ; no space"
allowed for corners
Office Hours
13 A. B. to 19 p. s. except week-days
and Sundays
348 X. Y.
THE UPPERS The students of the upper classes have
become snobbish enough to band themselves into social gatherings. The older
of the "highbrows" call themselves the
K. E. Club, which probably means Kat
Eyes. The younger crowd bear the title, "Arpus", which is Mexican for
The activities of the clubs will be
chiefly light occupation, and will take
up most of their time. The K. E.s
have selected the cowslip as their club
flower, while that of the Arpus is the
dandelion. The best wishes of the faculty and the students are with the clubs.
Mosquitoes! What a soulful and
edifying wrord. Many profitable hours
could be spent in considering the qualities of this beautiful creature. Is it
not most soothing to the mind of the
tired business man, as he reclines in
his hammock of a summer evening, to
hear the soul-stirring strains of restful
music emitting from the throats of myriads of mosquitoes, playfully flitting
about the head of aforesaid man?
To go into detail concerning the food
required for the upkeep of the mosquito would be most embarrassing to
say the least. However, it will be sufficient to state a few of the simpler
diets necessary for its existence. Its
main field of endeavor is found on the
fleshy part of the human arm, on
beautiful swan-like necks, and also penetrating the soft places on bald heads.
Space does not permit me to go further
into the numerous means the mosquito
uses in acquiring his food.
The mosquito spends the day in
slumber, but makes every possible use
of the night. Of course, we all know
Notice! Notice!
"Stub" O'Neil has a novel method of
procuring recognition from passing females. After trying in vain to attract
sufficient notice, he dug deep into his
"bean" for the cause. He found that it
was due to his smallness of stature and
hit upon a new plan then and there.
Upon his bed he climbs and in this
manner procures the desired results.
Most people of now-a-days is not interested enugh in ancient history to give
it the once over the top, but I'll sell
ya straight that there was some purty
important pedigrees hung up back in
the nights of Alexander, and them
birds. Why everybody's herd about Alexander and that jazz band of his'n.
Them boys use to toot music that 'uld
make them old Greeks forgit bout their
"rust purk" and "prunnes", and that's
sayin' a sight for them Wm. Hoovers.
And them Greek boys of this Alexander's use to do other thing besides open
up new restaurants. They use to be
good at-thelets. They was all good
raslers because they was always ras-
len'. If they couldn't find any guys in
their class to throw, why they throw the
mule or the cow or maybe the bunny.
There wasn't any of this challengin'
anybody ; they'd just go ahead and put
on a bout for a side bet of each other's
head or something like that. They
didn't wont the whole world for just
squashing another bird's head so as he
could wear two sizes smaller of a hat.
There was a good lot of smart old
men among all those raslers, too. I
guess they got smart when they started
that talk of theirs. I don't deal much
with it myself, but I always thot it
looked like as they didn't want anybody to know what they was writing
or saying. It's awful stuff to hear 'em
say, and it's just as bad to try to read
their writen. Ya know people when
they don't know somethin' always say
it's just like Greek to them. They
mean that it's all mixed up and you
have to say it fast and it sounds like
"watchawonkid" or somethin' like that.
One of them smart old Greeks was a
piegon man and I guess he knew his
piegons. He use to teach his birds to
always come home for meals and then
after he got 'em trained right well he
toke 'em a way off and then they come
home and then one day when he wa'a
out selling swords he happened to have
one of his birds with him and he
wanted to send a letter to his wife but
he didn't have any stamps, so he put
a string on the letter and gave it to his
piegon to take home. His wife like
the idea swell so he sent all his letters
that way. Then when they got tired of
this they got a patent on the piegons
and sold them. They called 'em homing piegons after Mr. and Mrs. Homer,
and it was a good idea, because we
still have them piegons to carry letters.
Then besides Alexander's jazz band
and Llomer and his piegons, there was
a lot of other great old fellows. There
was old Pluto, that guy that made that
water that ever boardin' school knows
about and don't thank old Pluto much
for his work. Then them old Greeks
did a lot of other dirty tricks on school
kids. They was the fellows that started
all that stuff about arithmetics and
geography and history and sich like.
So I think even if the Greeks we
have around here now do do nothing
but shine shoes or start a restarent ever
time one Greek meets another, there
better than them old smart alexs that's
alwas starten a thing that some other
body'll have to finish.
Page 138




St. Ambrose University, 518 W. Locust St., Davenport, IA 52803