Iowa Heritage Digital Collections
State Library of Iowa

1916 Yearbook

1916 Yearbook


1916 Yearbook


Linnenkamp (to station agent): What
is the fare to the fair?
S. A.: The same as to the homely.
Bissen: When I sing I get tears in my
eyes. What can I do for that?
Morrin: Stuff cotton in your ears.
Cranny: Are you going in for golf this
Coonan: No, I'm beyond that now.
This summer I am going to take up the
study of Greek, Roman and Egyptian profanity.
Chauncy: Me, lazy? No, Father; I'm
a member of the army of toil.
Father B.: I never see you working.
Chauncy: No, Father; I belong to the
Skinny Mc.—"My vaccinated arm has
swollen to twice its natural size."
Dick Lee—"Is that all. Well, then it
didn't take.'
Cranny—"Have you any smoking,
Gross—"No; but there is some Bull
Durham in my room."
Peiffer—"Give me a chew, Simon."
(Holtz hands him the plug.)
Peiffer—"Do you care where I bite it?"
Simon—"No difference to me."
Peiffer—"Well, then I'll bite it in
Helwig—"I thought you had charge of
the Humorous Department."
W. H.—"I have."
Helwig—"Then why don't you put Bill
Schmidt's picture in?"
Prefect Morrin—"Shut up Morgan, or
you will go out of here on a pair of roller
skates that can't say whoa."
McGinnis—"Wont you sit down Mike?"
McCune—No, I'll stand Pat."
Beecher—"What makes you so foolish,
J. Morrin—"I sleep under a crazy quilt."
Troy—"Would you take me to be as
much as twenty-four years old?"
Ryan—"By no means; from your conversation, I would say you are about six."
Angry Boy (to malefactor) -
the biggest fool in school."
Prefect—"Be careful what
young man, I'm here."
you say
Holtz—"You find some very long sentences in Caesar; sometimes you have to
look three or four lines down for the verb."
Miller—Oh, yes; I once had to look clear
in the back of the book for the verb."
Ryan—"What is Troy's weight?"
Coonan—"You'll find it in my arithmetic."
Bill Schmidt—"Gee, look at these big
apples. It wouldn't take many of them to
make a dozen, would it?"
Prof.—"I see you've been fighting
Youth—"I was defending a good upright boy."
Prof.—"That's not so bad; who was the
Youth—"I was."
Fr. H.—"Go straight to your room."
Mallon—"I can't; I room around the
Goodall (writing home)—"How do you
spell 'financially'?"
Quinlan (also writing)—"F-i-n-a-n-c-i-
a-l-l-y, and there are two R's in embarrassed."
McGinnis—"What is the difference
tween a pig and a German?"
Murphy—"I don't know."
McGinnis—"You are the fifth fellow that
I have asked and nobody seems to know."
Prof.—"When you read a selection, it is
proper that you should button up your
coat, and not a man has done so today.
Please read, Mr. Holtz."
Holtz rises and reads, but he has no
button on his coat.
'How much
Linnenkamp (to salesman)-
are these collars?"
Salesman—"Two for a quarter."
Linnenkamp—"How much for one?"
Salesman—"Fifteen cents."
Linnenkamp—"Give me the other one.'
Tony (reading Fort M. paper)—"Here
is an account of an old man seventy-three
years old who was sent to the penitentiary
for the fifth time for burglary."
J. McDonald—"Oh, yes; old age steals
Pres. of Tennis Association—"So you
favor an absolutely honest administration
in tennis affairs, Mr. Lee?"
Dick—"Sure; that is, for a while. You
know you can't take money from the boys
all the time. You have to let up now and
then and let them have a chance to get
some more."
Rohret—"What's the trouble, Hubert;
you look ill?"
Thoman—"I am just getting over an
Rohret—"What was wrong?"
Thoman—"Oh, nothing much; but the
doctor took ten bones out of my hand."




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