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State Library of Iowa

1914 Yearbook

1914 Yearbook


1914 Yearbook


of a Stetson (fifty center). We discovered him the first morning of our
Junior year. To the frequent glances
of curiosity he responded with just
"Good morning."
He nearly bowed the good Juniors
over by making a perfect recitation
the first morning around, while the
Prof, smiled in easy tolerance, for
that man had shattered our tradition
at a blow. His favorite study is
Astronomy; night after night he goes
forth into the darkness to study. He
never forgets to take his pipe.
"Swede" is a good man to have for
a friend. He is proverbially good-
natured and loyal to his class and to
his school.
Leo Kerrigan.
We have known "Fat" for seven
years. In that time, though we have
watched him closely, we have seen
no change in his nature. He has
acquired no knowledge since we have
known him, nor indeed has his great
fund of wisdom degenerated. He
has neither grown nor shrunk. His
height is the same, his hair is as
thin, his appetite as large, his humor
as rich as it was seven years back.
He sleeps only when there is nothing
else to be done.
His departure will be very much
regretted by all his friends, for they
love him for his characteristic humor
and his charming personality.

Suppose there was no Latin exams.
Suppose Ligutti does not pass.
Suppose that Welsh were President.
Suppose that St. Ambrose had dances.
Suppose that Shields and Rump did
not go to town.
"Dentist" a common one
"Sickness" the old stand-by
"Violent headache" looks bad
"Overslept" not many so frank
"Called away" . . . .sounds unnatural
"Missed the train". . . .you don't say
"Street car late", .as frequent as any
What promises to be the strongest
course in the whole curriculum will
be inaugurated, with fitting ceremonies, next September. We refer
to the course in Advance Ditching,
which has been agitated for some
time. Four of the keenest minds
have been secured to carry the student body through every phase of
this wonderfully interesting topic
during a period of four years. The
dean of this department is the well-
known savant, Dr. Rump. Dr. Rump
will supplement his regular lectures
of the course proper with special
slide lectures on the difficult ytet
fascinatingly delightful Art of Ditching the Profs. Associate Professor
Dr. O'Malley will lecture five hours
a week, for forty weeks, on Fire
Escaping Theory and Practice.

Dr. Dennison will lecture on Sense
Perception, accompanied by laboratory tests, showing how to recognize
the presence of a member of the Faculty before he is in sight. Dr. James
Gallagher, of "Goat" fame, will expatiate on the Relative Merits and
Demerits of Expansion and Contraction of the Body in Predicaments.
Dr. Gallagher has six hundred slides
of "Closet" work, giving evidence of
his great interest and remarkable
ability in his chosen profession.
There will be a regular weekly test
or "clinic" of the proficiency acquired
by the members of this course. These
tests will take place every Wednesday and Saturday afternoon and evening, and records of the progress
made will be preserved in the archives of the Master of Discipline.
High standing is to be rewarded by
unlimited and uninterrupted residence in the study hall. Those desiring to enroll in this course may
send their names to us. We guarantee complete and speedy satisfaction,
as the Registrar, the Dean, the Professors and the Master of Discipline
are well known to "Ye Eds."